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Sex: The six most common sexual fantasies

The Sun UK

THE most common erotic fantasies have been revealed, thanks to a groundbreaking new study that lifts the lid on secret sexual cravings.

Dr Justin Lehmiller from the Ball State University, Indiana, interviewed a staggering 4,175 people to compile the most comprehensive survey of Americans’ sexual fantasies.

A compehensive study has revealed exactly what people fantasise about doing when it comes to sex

His study, Tell Me What You Want, found that 96 per cent of participants admitted to having a sexual fantasy, although very few had revealed these to their partners.

Dr Lehmiller told The Sunday Times’ Style magazine: “You can learn fetishes for almost anything you can think of. Most are learnt through basic psychological reinforcement and conditioning.

“Feeling abnormal or weird is one of the biggest things that holds people back and creates anxiety that is very disruptive to our sex lives. I want to make it easier for people to have these conversations.”

A staggering 89 per cent of people in the survey said they fantasise about having a threesome.

Of those with partners, many said that their ideal threesome would involve their spouse, which suggested that craving group sex isn’t always about replacing loved ones.

Straight males were more likely to crave two women, however in heterosexual women’s ideal line-up, the gender didn’t matter as much.

Dr Lehmiller said that the majority of people said they had fantasised about at least one BDSM act.

And when it came to his female participants, he noticed a “slightly more than frequent” fantasies about sadism, or giving pain.

When he enquired as to the nature of these desires, they came in the form of spanking, biting and dripping hot wax.

However, overall he found that more people (65 per cent) prefer to receive pain than give it (60 per cent), suggesting giving up control was a turn on.

A huge turn on is having your partner be on top

They say variety is the spice of life, and this study certainly backed this up.

Dr Lehmiller found that many people are drawn to factors that shake up their typical bedroom sex routine – be it location, position or partner.

Doggy style was men’s top position to fantasise about, and both genders fantasised about their partner being on top during intercourse.

Setting was more important for women, but a “public” location emerged as top turn on for many people.

These included places such as an office, lift or park, and appeared to be driven by the sense of adventure or the thrill of getting caught.

The study found that people in relationships crave having non-monogamous sex – but mostly if this was approved by their partner.

Less than one per cent fantasised about cheating, but far more were turned on when they weren’t being deceptive about partner-sharing.

Dr Lehmiller found that 79 per cent of men had fantasised about an open relationship, and this slipped to 62 per cent for women.

And 58 per cent of people said they would get a thrill out of watching their partner have sex with other people – although this was more appealing to men.

The majority of both men and women (70 per cent) said they rarely or never have fantasies about emotionless sex and instead craved feeling desired, validated or loved.

And feeling sexually competent and irresistible was very appealing to both genders.

Nine out of 10 people said they had fantasised about their current partner and over half (51 per cent) do this regularly.

Even if you identify as heterosexual, many secretly had erotic thoughts about the same sex.

In fact, 59 per cent of women who reported as straight said they had had fantasies about sex with women.

This slipped to just over a quarter (26 per cent) of men who identified as straight.

And gender flexibility wasn’t restricted to the other people involved, with many men have fantasies about being “feminised” by a dominant female.

Interestingly not a single woman in the survey said they wanted to be “masculinised” by a man.

Around one in four men craved sex with a cross-dresser, with one in three men saying they had fantasised about sex with a transsexual.

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